We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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