ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
