I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize