My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
