dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
