One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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