I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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