so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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