I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize