I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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