you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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