I want to make a zoo with you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
