What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
