my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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