So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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