I wannas sexs uuuuu
Your mouth is God's brothel.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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