swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
