I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
