when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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