He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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