Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
