As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
