oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
