...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
