Yo dont text me then not text me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
only you would photoshop your dick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
