Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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