i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
