apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
