He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize