i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i've created a new STD.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
