So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize