I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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