i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My feet surprised me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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