he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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