toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wanna go halves on a baby?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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