I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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