i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
