How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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