they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
