If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
