This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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