apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
