No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
