okay pat passed out under dana's car
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
