I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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