Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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