I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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