I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
