just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
