I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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