1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
