im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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