id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
