Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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