So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
