somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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