It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you mean i was at the winter classic?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
